steps into a hair salon.

me: i want to cut my hair.
her: ok what kind?
me: i want like katie holmes kind of haircut.
her: katie what?
me: katie holmes. you know tom cruise's wife?
her: tom who?
me: aiyah you got english magazines? i can show you her face if it's in there.
her: (hands over STYLE) she very famous issit?
me: ok ok lah. alamak she won't be inside STYLE one. tell you what, just cut this much off (gestures some stupid measurement) then ok liao.
her : waah you speak hokkien ah? (smiles like hell) ok this much ah? (gestures the same stupid measurement)
me: yah ok can.

her: girl your hair very dry leh. want to go for treatment? now got promotion, $59 only. very cheap.
me: waah so expensive. cannot lah. later my mother kill me.
her: you call her now. i tell her your hair very dry.
me : er no need lah. i can live with dry hair.
her: you want to rebond? now got special offer. your hair very curly.
me: i don't like the stupid straight hair. (which was a bit rude since she had super straight hair herself)

while cutting my hair,

her: so you schooling or working already?
me: i'm an undergrad (matter-of-factly)
her: wah so smart. good ah.
me: yah. (revels in a moment of narcissism)

then more awkward and senseless conversations took place before she was finally done. but i didn't get the katie holmes 'do that i wanted. i left the place looking like the 5th beatle.